Rule two: you do not touch my daughter in front of me. But on issues relating to my daughter, i am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. Instead of just standing there, why don t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, i am the barrier, and i will kill you. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near hanoi daddys dating rules funny. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter s body, i will remove them. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been daddys dating rules funny. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside.
Rule five: it is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. If i ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. When my agent orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as i wait for you to bring my daughter home. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, i will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff t-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Rule eight: the following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Rule three: i am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Rule four: i m sure you ve been told that in today s world, sex without utilizing a barrier method of some kind can kill you.
your dad s rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you re a guy) : rule one: if you pull into my driveway and honk you d better be delivering a package, because you re sure not picking anything up. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Still, i want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so i propose this compromise: you may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and i will not object.black women dating white men tumblr.. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Please don t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. Rule seven: as you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. .Free live sex chats without login or signing up or joining.
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